How can I insure he takes better care of the kids during visitation? It might help her to see a therapist. Does that mean my companion cannot see the kids in public places? Do I need written consent for an out of state vacation? Maybe you could work together to iron out problems. His dad has sole custody and I have visitation rights, but he says I have to supply the address even though I am willing to give him phone numbers where I can be reached. Yes - but if she's a nut job then the kids could be "sick" if you know what I mean! If you want to modify your order based on this, you can file for modification. Would a court order overnight visitation if I’m breastfeeding? Frame it as making things easier for him. My ex is against her playing sports and grudgingly brings her to the games when she's with him. I agree that you can't let him dictate what you do. No overnight visitation of children if either parent has a sexual they are not married to staying over/living in the home. The best way to move into overnights is to do so gradually. When one parent is granted this by the court, that doesn't take away the other parent's right to be a part of their child's life. Stopping visitation is not the answer - you're punishing your children then for his stupidity. The therapist advised me to keep saying no to parenting time. . Michelle's Question: Do I have to let my 14 month old go with my ex-husband's girlfriend for visitation even though he will not be there? What can I do to prove my openness to the visits? You need to decide how far you want to take this. He thinks that if it "his weekend" he can pick them up and dropped them off whenever he feels like it. He expects me to leave my daughter with him when she doesn't even know him. You need one, so that there are limits on this situation. Amy Asks: My ex-husband wants to take our daughter for a 2 week vacation out of state. Brette's Answer: This is a common problem I ran into when I was a law guardian. Brette's Answer: It is not breaking the law to do something different than the plan states if you both agree to it. He has told us that he wishes sometimes he was dead. We share custody, but he won't let me see the kids unless he is there. Now all of a sudden, he wants to start having her every other weekend, split holidays, and one evening a week. Shandar's Question: We have joint custody of our 7 year old son. What forms do I need to revise the visitation schedule? Brette's Answer: Yes, it's common to include a provision like that in a parenting plan; however I have to warn you it often doesn't work out. He was put on lithium about 3 years ago, but has not taken his medicine because he thinks he doesn't need it. Brette's Answer: Technically unless the order states otherwise visitation does not change, but it would be reasonable to allow the parent more access during this time. Do I have to allow visitation if he didn't follow the re-introduction plan? He comes to my house anytime he wants and takes the kids and doesn’t let me know that he has them. Our divorce papers say that he cannot have our daughter overnight if his girlfriend is there. Can he take our son out of state without getting my permission first? Can a child ask for the visits to stop if the father is abusive? Do I have a right to contact my son if he has custody? If there are grandparents, they can also file a petition for visitation for themselves, which would offer a way for the extended family to see the child. Can he use HIS visitation to force me to send her to his mom's house instead? It's always best to have an up-to-date order, but if your ex has complied so far you probably have nothing to worry about. Child custody issues are never easy and visitation is often a primary concern of individuals going through a divorce. You're both independent adults and not beholden to the other. Tecla's Question: I have three children. The last time he visited, he and I got into a physical fight where he hit me. Your attorney could help you reach a settlement with them so that you would not need to go a trial - it sounds as though you could work something out together. The problem is the kids don't want to be with him. Brette's Answer: If your court order specifies the times he is to have the children, you have to stick to it. Brette's Answer: Eventually he would have overnights unless there is some reason not to. It means you get to decide when and how often occurs. Now, the other side of this is why don't you want to allow this? He wants me to provide my set for him. No one is allowed to pick up your daughter unless they are on the visitation court papers. Is there any way to make sure he doesn't get visitation at all? Sometimes he doesn't get them, other times the kids call early and want to come home because they don't like spending time with him. My husband is basically an absent father, but when he is around, he is either in a great mood, or a bully. Also you might offer to take them to him and have him drop them off if this is a scheduling problem. I am concerned for her safety both while driving and while in his custody. However our younger child goes to see him every other weekend & now she is starting to hate her older sister. Brette's Answer: He has no obligation to your oldest child and no court could require him to take her on visits. I understand how difficult it is to feel like a man has completely abandoned you and your child and left the entire child-rearing to you, and then to have him suddenly show up and want to be involved. Ashlie's Question: Can I legally pick my kids up from their fathers sister if she has temporary legal custody if there have been no visitation right established? But I allow him to have her every Thursday and every other weekend. Christina's Question: We have joint legal custody and his parenting time during the school year is Fridays after school and every weekend. Jessica's Question: I am having trouble with my ex-husband on agreeing where he is allowed to take my children. The friendly approach is the way to go with this one. If you can show via a calendar or journal that you were home waiting for him for each visit, that would help. How is visitation handled if the father has been absent? Can I stop overnight visits if his girlfriend is sleeping there? What if my divorce papers say extended visitation but the court records say regular? Still have questions? He has 2 other children (with 2 other mothers) that he has never even met. However, I'll tell you from experience that the court is not going to order your ex to move his girlfriend out. Does my ex's wife have any rights as a step parent? Darlene's Question: My ex and I have joint custody of our 5 year old daughter. Before Dad can leave child with a gf or other person, he must first inquire with the biomom to see if she would like to be with child on Saturday. Heather's Question: After 12 years of marriage and 4 children together, my husband told me that he didn't love me anymore and left me for another woman. My ex knows my son cannot have dairy because of a milk protein allergy, yet my ex won't buy the soy milk or even juice for my son to drink. He only wants to stay here with us. You're not a mental health expert and if he doesn't have a clear medical record of issues it's going to look like you're interfering with visitation. Good luck. Brette's Answer: The problem is this is a fine line. He stated that he will not take my 17 year old at all for the two weeks. People other than parents may have legal authority over a child. Brette Answers: Here's the problem about the way you're looking at this. It says we have 45 days to take this class or our case could be dismissed. Should visitation be altered if he isn't spending time with our kids? How or what can I do to see that he follows the visitation that was set up? The information you need can be found there. Can he stop me from seeing my daughter if there is no court order? Can I stop visitation until he is medically trained to care for her? I have moved in with them so they can help provide for us until the case is settled. I think any judge would say that he needs to have his own in order to provide adequate care because otherwise where do you draw the line - are you supposed to transfer cribs and high chairs too? Keep a log so you can prove she's not giving you extra time now. Sylvia's Question: I am the custodial parent of our 9 year old daughter and she has just started her 30 day summer visitation. I assume this is not the case. This is something the judge would need to decide. These tips can help turn your marriage bling into money. I feel as their mother I should have the right to know where my children are. The lateness is a problem though and I would suggest you talk to him about that. Sit down together in a friendly way and try to find out what the problem is. Brette's Answer: File for enforcement and violation of the order. We feel like we're being used as an excuse for him to continue his abuse. Brette's Answer: Your lawyer is right. Good luck! Your kids are too young to think it's weird that their dad is dating their mom's friend. Do I have to return my child if my ex is basically homeless? What options are there for me? Karen's Question: My ex is extremely verbally abusive and controlling. No matter how this turns out, he is going to need help dealing with his mixed emotions. Can he use his visitation to send her to her grandparents? And if not why can't your boyfriend sleep on the couch? I do let my son visit my ex's parents at their home. Now, because in some states, without a specific clause stating that only the parent is to do p/u & d/o, you may want to amend your custody order, through the courts. Brette's Answer: It is unlikely a court would uphold your rights for an overnight in that situation. The practices are every day after school. If she has not harmed or threatened your child, there is nothing you can do. His father takes him for 4 weeks each summer and lives 5 states away. My Ex wife gives me a difficult time when it comes to trying to involve my girlfriend. Brette's Answer: You're going to have a real problem if you allow him to select one child to have a relationship with. I called my ex to inform her, but couldn't reach her . Learn how to save time, money, and turmoil. This is true even if the non-custodial parent is not paying their child support. Question: My ex recently got visitation rights every other weekend. I don't understand how it can also say shared legal, since that is a contradiction. Is he violating the visitation order if he meets our son for lunch? Dawn's Question: My visitation rights were suspended. It can even be made into a PDF and sent to the ex's mobile device so there will be no excuse for excuses. Can the custodial parent decide who visits the child in the hospital? You need to file a petition for modification. If you call her up and start quoting legal precedents, you're going to put her on the defensive. If the order does not set specific times, then visitation is at time as agreed upon. Can I request that he take her once in a while to make her little sister feel comfortable? Every weekend with one parent is not generally done. My son is showing worsening signs of anxiety, and I have come to the point where I feel that I need to protect my son from his Dad. Stephanie's Question: My daughter's father was recently charged with aggravated child abuse towards his other son, but he has not been incarcerated yet. He is visiting less and less, but has his parents pick our daughter up for his visits and he does not come to see her. Would a judge really grant a mother no weekend time at all during the school year? My concern is that she has two children, a girl 15 years and a boy 12 years old. My daughter just met her real Dad and is afraid to visit him. I can't plan weekends, holidays or vacations in advance. And since he hasn't seen her in 4 years, it is unreasonable for him to suddenly think he can exercise it as decided 4 years ago. My son is crushed that he will not be able to participate. Paige's Question: My husband's attorney is filing a contempt of court saying I denied visitation, which is not true. This causes times of depression and disappointment with their dad because he allows it to happen. In fact, because they know her, it will probably be much less upsetting than if he were involved with someone they had never met. In fact, it could backfire and result in you having less or no time with your children. What are my rights? pass out with your friends, don't be depressing or you will start to resent him. Please let me know what the chances are of him getting any kind of visitation, and if his parents can use the fact that they help me with daycare against me. I have been in the house and know it's unsanitary but what can I do to protect my kids from that environment? Samantha's Question: If there is no court order in place, can one parent stop the other one from seeing the child (my daughter's father is refusing to allow me to contact her. Good God NO!! Because I voiced this, my ex-husband decided to add this to our divorce decree that I could not have any overnight guests (male or female) while my children are present. What are my kid's rights if their father hasn't seen them for 6 years? This would likely allay your fears and help you feel comfortable. Can he get visitation back after losing visitation rights? Invite them over, get to know them and try to become a part of their lives. Good luck. I would suggest that your attorney send his attorney a letter saying he must provide his own car seats and you will not give him the children if he does not have them. It really depends on the circumstances. Brette's Answer: I think you should have a calm and non-confrontational discussion with him about what you just told me. What will be the correct way of changing the percentage? I think you need to get some distance between you to reduce the anger, but you also need to find a way for the kids to safely continue to have a relationship with him. It's not healthy for the kids to sit around waiting for him all the time. Brette's Answer: You should make it clear before there is an order that she doesn't want to go. Brette's Answer: You can file a petition for modification. He has a son from a previous marriage who is in a special needs center in a nearby state. MJP's Question: My son's father lives in Florida and travels extensively across the country with a professional sports organization (10 months out of the year). Good luck. I asked him not to take them on the freeway with them and he told me I can't tell him where he can and can't drive his kids. Brette's Answer: You should file for a modification of the custody plan. How do you think about the answers? Needless to say, he married her so it does not apply to him any longer. You only hurt your children when you fight, yell and talk about each other in front of those kids. Do I have to give him this information? As their mother, I consider this negligence, but how can I prove it? I strongly advise you consult with an attorney to explore these options. Shared physical custody means there should be a parenting plan established. What if he only wants visitation with one child? He only does the Sunday visits when he wants to and has never visited on Wednesday. You need to get along for the kids sake and try to show the children that you can all get along. 4 year olds are not reliable reporters, so she might not be telling you exactly what happened. Can I refuse visitation if he's threatened to kidnap the children? If you drive him away, you will one day have to answer to your son. I was told to get two sets of Epi pens; one for daycare and one for home. Brette's Answer: Yes they will be enforced. She is telling him he can't have them for his alternate weekend sleep-over now. I think you need to file a motion to have visitation altered. If your ex can afford a bigger house or more beds, you have a position worth pursuing. My child has no clue who he is. He does pay child support. My 17 year old prefers to stay with me. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you should. If you're upset about the allegations there is nothing to do since they were unfounded. My son is 12 years old and he said he did not want to see his dad. Now I live in Florida and own my own home and am married with two boys. In Indiana, there are two types of custody: legal custody (the authority and responsibility for major decisions concerning the child’s upbringing, such as education or health care) and physical custody (where the child … Last night he called our son neurotic and doesn't hesitate to speak this way in front of him. You could also petition to have his parental rights terminated and then have your current husband adopt her. » Return to top. Sometimes, the children in question would rather not spend time with their other parent’s new girlfriend or boyfriend, and any children that they may bring into the equation. Try to keep things calm  and civil for the sake of your child. Brette's Answer: Unfortunately the system is not built around what the children's rights are. I have several police reports where he threatened to take my daughter and I will never see her again. Ann's Question: My ex is under a temporary restraining order. Based on that threat, you can seek to have his visitation reduced. Can I refuse visitation if I feel that he is mentally unstable? Susan's Question: We've been trying to work out a 50/50 split visitation for the past month. Does he need my address if he has custody and I have visitation? I think it is wonderful that you've agreed he will have her one day a week while you work. S's Question: My daughter just met her father after 13 years. He is threatening to take me to court for visitation because his child support is going up. The New Significant Other Phenomena When it comes to dealing with visitation time, parenting rights, child custody, and child support - there are a lot of — August 28, 2015 ... New Girlfriend or Boyfriend and Child Custody and Parenting Time. Do I have to make them go if one was molested at their Dad's house? What if he does not allow phone call while our son is with him? Brette's Answer: Custodial interference is grounds for a change in custody. If I want him I can go get him. Two weeks is a long time to spend together when they haven't seen each other in a long time, so he should be prepared for some separation anxiety - letting her talk to you on the phone should help. Summer's Question: What can I do to keep my 9 year old son from having dramatic visitation with his dad? After all, he has never met or seen her. The custody papers say both parents are to have reasonable visitation rights within my discretion. Keep track of all the missed visits and make notes with as much detail as possible. Question: I have custody of my 8 years old granddaughter (who has lived with me since birth) because neither parent was fit due to drug usage. The father was ordered to go to her doctor's appointment, but didn't. 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